omfg_its_kay

Add me.
I'm probs gonna use that instead of livejournal.
Lj is gayyyy.

http://kayasdfghj.tumblr.com/

I feel really low of myself, and so do others. I need to work harder at being a better person. And just work harder at life itself. I have no aspirations. I hate quinsig, well I'm pretty sure everyone that goes there does haha. I have two quizzes and a test that I need to make up by Tuesday. I don't even plan on looking at any of the material I need to study for. If I don't pass these two classes by December, I have to retake them and that's bullshit. I'll just go to fucking NHIA and stay there and just suck it up. I don't know why I ended up coming back. Though, I did grow closer to a few people. But still, I gave up on an opportunity that not a lot of people get in life. I'm just stupid. I just want to fast forward all of this :/

Last night was the craziest night of my life. And no, I am no I am not exaggerating when I say that. 
Met up with Shane and Ryan in Boston, then adventured our way to Gloucester. Thennnn pretty much explored.
And yeah. Hahaha :o)

 

...and then two maybe because of you, three times enough, but four might be better. Five in the morning and it's still the same, staring into the mirror as it cracks around my eyes, six more nights like this and I'll die, Without you I'm losing my mind, seven crows welcomed the day, Three suns have shown me the way, six lies and again I'm astray, nine scratches in the wall. Inhale the dust as it falls, I feel like eight blades have torn through my heart, Ten and I realize your the one who's tearing me apart, Eleven past Twelve and I'm lost again, Turn me inside out there's not much there to see, black ink running free. 

Yeah, almost got arrested for stealing at tjmax. Siiiiiick. 
I fucking rule.

But, I am going to start being a better person. For myself and for everyone else around me. I'm sick and tired of being the same old shit head ha. I need a change in my life and I think now is a good time. I'm losing people around me. I'm losing my parents trust, and just losing them in general. I think I could do this.  I need to do this.

I just wanna go to sleep, and never wake up.
God, can you just do me that one favor. Thanks. 

 I hate how everything is right now.

I hate how everything is right now. Three things that are bothering me:

1. I'm not in school, I'm trying to. I've taken the placement test for qcc three times already, and I have to take it again tomorrow morning.. and if I don't do well, then I don't know what happens. I probably have to take two extra classes that DON'T count. Which makes me aggravated and seems pointless to me.

2. I have no job, no money. I need to save money for a few things. I need to get an apartment cause I can't live in my parents house anymore. "Saving" money for me, means putting my spare change into a jar. Sucks right? Yeah. 

3. I feel as if I'm not good enough for people. Like, I have to be better just to get their attention. I seem to be "old news" to my friends. I don't feel important. It's not like they don't ask me to hang out and such... That's just how I feel :/ And I feel like I disappointed my parents even more by not going to art school. I feel like a failure in their eyes, and that's the worst. I Just feel so miserable about the situation. 


I'm so aggravated/​discontent/​angry/​depressed.
A lot, huh?
:(

Yeah, back home for good. Well, until next semester, or maybe even next fall. School didn't work out for me. That's all you need to know. Now I need to find a god damn job, and hopefully an apartment.  
I've been really stressed, and I get so upset at things so easily now. It sucks :( Everything needs to get better NOW. 
Haaa if life was that easy :/

So I'm never stepping near a skateboard/longboard EVER again.
Ok so here's the story...
Last night I thought I'd go skateboarding with the boys at 2 in the morning andd a little buzzzed.
So I get the longboard. First I start going down the hill on my butt, then I was like "hey! lets be bad ass and actually skate" 
Soooo I get on and I'm going down hill, and picking up speed. I'm thinking that, it was a bad thing. So I try and jump off. 
And I completely ate shit. Phil, Jon and Geno said I "bounced" and then slid hahahah. Huge gash on my side, burn on my elbow, and fucked my knee up.
But yeah in the end, I learned my lesson that... I will never skate ever again.



:)
 

Last night was so much fun. Me and Geno went to club blu. It's a gay club and sunday nights drag queens perform. Omg it was the funniest thing. I have to say that it was a lot of fun. Thursday night is foam night, so me and him are definitely hitting that up hahaha <3

So my brother just got engaged :D :D I'm really happy for him.  We're inviting the fam over for champagne and to celebrate, tonight.
Hung out with gabby today, and saw the baby. He's the cutest little thing ever haha. Then we stopped by skin graff and talked to Jorge. I have an appointment friday with him so he can start my tattoo. I'm pretty damn excited :) This weekend will be fun. Sunday me, Chris, and my cousin Michelle are going to the gay club hahaha and its dragqueen sunday. Haaaa. Its going to be an adventure. Fuck going to that sober :p

 Last night I had this dream..

I got tickets to see blink 182, and jorge let me use his car. We had to scrounge up money for gas. We went somewhere, while leaving his car at the gas station, with the keys in the ignition. I come back and his car is gone. Someone stole it. So I freak out thinking jorge is going to fucking kill me. So we meet up with him, and he's a cross between chris and jorge...weird. So I tell him what happened and he cries. Then he whispers in my ear "I love you" and gave me a kiss on the cheek and the lips. WEIRD! Then we go to the neighborhood where I grew up, and I tease jorge/chris.. hahha. And I'm on the roof of some weird ass ladies house along with a friend, and jorge/chris comes up and gets me down, and the cops are there. And ask us what we were doing on the roof of this ladies house. Then we go into this house, and there's like candy, cookies, ice cream, etc all on tables when we walk in. She told us to help our selves. So we do. Then we sit down at the dinner table and eat all these sweets. The lady asks us questions about our lives, and she asks jorge/chris "What are you doing with kelsey? Don't you have a 21 year old girlfriend?" and I look at him and laugh, and say like "Oh well you should get rid of her so its easier for us to be together." 


And I woke up...
Sooooo weird. hahahha

I have one more week left at the beach. Thank god. Then one week left in worcester. Possibly getting my ribs tattooed when I get back:D :D And then off to manchester!! I'm so fucking excited. I'm more excited to leave all these sketchy ass motha fucka's. Everyone is getting sketchier and sketchier by the minute and I'm not liking it one bit. But I still got chris and gabbbaa haha :) <3<3

...for you even more and more.




I'm not so sure if that's a good thing :/ 

Picking chris up tomorrow and he's gonna stay the night at ze beach houseee :)
I'm really happy we're talking again. I've missed him a lot. 



Life is good <3

Hung out with gabby and jocelyn last night. Then went to chris' house, drank and hung out. It was nice :D

Today, at the beach house. Relaxing with jocelyn. Bored cause there's really nothing to do. Hopefully chris will come up sometime this weekend, and it wont be as bored haha. But I am reading this book called loose girl, pretty much about how shes fucked over 40 guys, and all about sex. So it's interesting hahah. Kinda taking my boredom away.

Blarrrgggh.
I do leave massachusetts, in 3 weeks... For good. I'm actually pretty fucking excited. Get away from all these scum bags. Yayyyy!
But I will miss my frandz :( I have to make new ones. Grrrr.

Well I'm going to enjoy the beach. Peace outttttt

that me moving means falling out of touch with people.
I havent even left yet and its already happening.
I'm not good at this detaching myself from people thing. 
:(
Having a emo day. Hmmm

 I honestly hate people that are in the mushy gushy relationships. It's so annoying. Here are a few annoying things they do.....

-They HAVE to spend every waken moment with their "partner." 
-If they're separated from each other for a couple hours or MAYBE even a day, they freak the fuck out and have a break down. 
-They always put their moods "​babyyyyyyy!​!​!​<​33"​ and their status like "can't wait to be woken up by my boobearrrrrr"​.​.​.​.​(​even though you live with the fucking person) 
-When your in public, you have to do the arm and arm thing or the arm around your waste and the arm around your shoulders.​.​.​.​.​honestly,​ is that necessary? No it's not. 
-When the girls boyfriend calls her and says "Ok I'll call you back after I get out of.. work or the shower" and when that time comes around, and he hasn't called back, you girls freak ouuuuut and say "OMGGG WHY HASNT HE CALLED ME BACK! I NEED TO CALL HIM BACK."
-When a couple has been together for a month, and they say "I love you" when they barely know each other and they say "I love you" probably a million times to them.
-You know it's pathetic when the boyfriend or girlfriend has to ask if they can hang out with a certain person..


Like seriously... You people need to chill the fuck out. What happens if you guys break up? Your not going to know what to do without that person because you were so dependent on them, you don't know how to take care of yourselves. Your two people, you should have two separate lives. Not one life conjoined and you have to do everything together. I just know this from my friends and just observing couples, it ruins both of you, and it's pathetic to see. 

I'm sorry haha but I had to get that off my chest. 
For you that are like that
YOUR SO ANNOYINGGGGGG!​!​

I need to work on becoming a better person. Cause lately, I haven't been the greatest of them all. I'm hurting the ones I love around me. I'm turning myself into a bad influence. I'm feeling mildly depressed... mostly because the poor choices I'm making.  I'm being such a cunt to everyone. I'm just failing at life. So much for having a good summer. I suck.